Homesick

Work was fast and busy for awhile but now it’s kind of lagging. The EveryOne Campaign launch was supposed to be Friday (Oct 15th, Malawi’s Mother’s Day) but it has been postponed. We still don’t know when the launch will happen because we’re still waiting to hear back from the First Lady. I really hope it happens before the 15th of November. I somehow got suckered into being in charge of the logistics committee for the launch, ie planning for refreshments, transport, fuel, chairs, and tents. You know, the not-so-fun-stuff that no one else wants to do. I am not allowed to take my 1 month home-leave and go home-home (California) until the launch happens so keep your fingers crossed for me!

I really want, no, NEED, to be home for Thanksgiving this year. This NEED to be home for Thanksgiving is not because everyone in my family gets together and has a huge feast or anything. I chose Thanksgiving to give myself something to look forward to, a short-term goal set in September to hold onto my sanity with. I have come to the end of my mental and emotional capacity to properly function in Malawi. I have never been away from home and America for this long (17 months) without at least a short visit. I am trying everything I can to keep my cool like hiking, going to the lake, going out with my friends, playing volleyball. But everything I do is in vain because at the end of the day, I still feel discontented and nostalgic.

This homesickness is manifesting itself into frustration, agitation, impatience, and desperation. Frustrated with the people I work with. Agitated with the littlest thing that goes wrong. Impatient with the lack of progress of the campaign. All this is entirely normal for Malawi: people in Malawi work on their own slow pace, things go wrong all the time, and due to the slowness of the Malawian pace everything else that depends on them also happens very slow. So why should I be so irritated?! I know this. I am (or should be) used to this.

I feel completely desperate for anything that is American… just the other day, I overdosed on SPAM. I ate an entire can of SPAM (serving size? 6) in a span of 5 hours. WHO EATS THAT MUCH SPAM, EVER? Am I crazy? Most definitely. Don't get me wrong, especially you Anh Tu, I like Malawi and I like my job and I want to be here. I just need a breather.

Another contribution to my sour mood lately is that my best friend in Malawi, Hannah, is leaving at the beginning of November. She's finished and will be going back to Australia and probably not coming back. What am I going to do without her?! =(

This Energizer bunny needs to be recharged as soon as possible.