Sometimes, just a small event here in Malawi results in an epiphany of life. Like today, I was sweeping out my kitchen and found a small dried dead bat on the floor. Normally, for the last 17 months at site, my neighbors or their children have always come over and taken care of the bats for me. But today was different. It startled me and I panicked a little. Thought about going to my neighbor’s house but decided not to. I mustered up enough courage and swept out the bat all by myself. I know it sounds so miniscule to most people but if you know me, you would know that I’m scared to death of mice and bats are just flying versions of.

As I reflect on my life in Malawi, I am very proud of myself for how far I’ve gone. I have had many trials and tribulations. Not just physical or exterior hardship but mental and internal. But the most important realization is that I am still here, stronger than when I came. I struggled with myself and with the fact that I am in Malawi and all that is Malawi- dealing with being called Azungu (white person), China, Japan, being stared at like a circus animal, getting ripped off for not being Black, or facing near impossible “hiccups” (problems) that Malawians manage to create all on a daily basis. I have become unfazed by life here. My skin has become thick (though not as thick as I need it to be!) but thick enough to survive here. As a note, though I always complain about the problems I face, for every 1 bad experience; there are about 100 good experiences that are unmentioned.

I wanted to give up several times in the course of my experience here. But in the end, I stuck it out (with the help of so many people I’ve had to privilege to meet and get to know) and I’m glad I did. I am finally to the point in my Peace Corps service that I love it here. Maybe not everyone gets to this point and maybe I don’t always love it here but I don’t want to be anywhere else at this moment. This may be Love. Not because Malawi is perfect or I am perfect but because we have accepted one another, faults and all. Though the cultural differences are great, I could still see myself living here. Not forever but for awhile.

I don’t know what I’ve done before to be fortunate enough to meet such wonderful people; people who not only prop me up but hold me up. I wonder if it’s all luck or just a shift in attitude. I feel that when you have a positive or optimistic view on life, things tend to go your way. But is it going your way or your positivity makes even bad experiences not so bad?

I am thankful for everyone that I’ve met in Malawi for helping and strengthening me. In the last 19 months, I have grown about a decade in wisdom and strength. I am grateful to my friends and family at home for their continued support and love. An important lesson this experience has taught me is to be grateful for everything I have. I truly lucky to have the people I have. I am happy, healthy, stronger, and more independent and exactly where I’m supposed to be.

Happy New Year’s! 2010 will be great. I’ll be coming home in about 8 months! Get ready! =0)